Have you ever noticed how your thoughts, opinions, and perception of reality can change depending on where you are and who you with?
It’s incredible how the environment influences us, no matter how strong we think we are. The place, the culture, the job surely take place in it, but HUMANS seem to be an irreplaceable and significant part of the environment.
As long as we are social creatures, other people will have a strong impact on our lives.
We interact with them all the time. All other times we don’t – we think about them. About the conversations and connections, we create together.
A lovely thing in our modern world – we can choose.
I struggle with that throughout my journey since I’m 17. Born and raised in Siberia, suffering from the fact that I can’t choose a better family, a better place to be born, etc.., I started to move and put myself into different places of the world, to taste life. Somehow I got the idea it’s not necessary to endure what I don’t enjoy anymore. I can choose who to be surrounded by. I now can choose those who are familiar with empathy, support, trust, honesty, and care. So we can inspire each other, create a healthy connection, approaching the relationships more attentively, respecting the authenticity and enormous universe inside the other. And I’m insanely grateful for that possibility!
Isn’t it great to receive the support from people you love and share things you enjoy vigorously inspiring and developing each other?
We might be missing the benefits of being in a tribe within time as the world tends to become more individualistic lately.
But here what you can do to have these people around you:
1. GET TO KNOW YOURSELF
What are your interests, which skills you want to get?
What do you want to bring to this world? And this paragraph is first for some reason 😉
2. DRAW THE IMAGE OF THE PERSON YOU WANT TO BE AROUND.
Whether it’s a great musician, politician or a person who finds happiness in simplicity – let your imagination flow.
Good to understand they will never exist equal to your image, but at least you know in which direction to grow and that you don’t want to hang out with ones who make you feel depressed J At least for now. (I’m not telling to get rid of people completely who vampires your energy, as they might be your parents, but managing the distance is the way).
3. TELL THEM WHAT YOU LOVE ABOUT THEM!
For instance: I adore people who generously can share the compliments. I think it’s a wonderful level of openness, braveness and vulnerability J So I’d never miss a chance to tell people about it. It’s fun to observe the reaction too! From pure embarrassment to a wild happy dance – amazing!
Or- I enjoy the way you dance, and these glitters on your cheeks look soooo lovely!
Anything, but only if it’s honest haha! It creates a friendly vibe and the other person feels seen and valued.
4. “WELL, IF YOU HAVE DIFFERENT VISION, THEN SORRY, YOU’RE NOT MY TYPE!”
Choose not only those who share the common interests with you (yes it’s the MUST for your tribe) but who challenges you and thinks differently!
It’s easy to get lost being around people who only say that you are right and they would react the same in the situation. I often put in doubt everything I do and follow just to check if it actually develops me or not J So it’s priceless to have someone who notices what you can’t see. Expands your vision, trying new opinions.
5. DON’T ONLY RECEIVE BUT GIVE.
Share some of your energy, support, encourage, inspire, help if needed. That’s pretty much it.
6. CLEAR COMMUNICATION.
Be brave enough to be clear in your intentions, sharing your needs and wants.
Being honest about the state can be vulnerable and powerful, but if I try to hide, it brings me far away from the contact. But human interaction is the same diverse thing as our universe, and it can take you on such a trip!
7. STAY AUTHENTIC
If you show and share your authenticity to the world, your people are gonna find you very soon!
The magical thing is happening then, we actually can unlock great potential, but with criticism and lack of support the energy gets stuck in our bodies.
Hope this was helpful! If you have some thoughts to share or anything to add- welcome under the post: I’d love to read!
Elvina is an experienced Zouk and Contact Impro Dancer, Bodyworker, Yoga, Dance-Teacher and novice psycho-therapist.